Just 'Cuz

Just because sometimes I'm an uber geek and like to see things in charts and pictures, I've made a chart of my weight since 2009. I haven't included every single weigh in, but you get the general idea. I like looking at it because it helps me wrap my brain around the fact that it's totally normal for weight to go up and down over time. Naturally, the whole point of weight loss surgery is to have it go down (which it is doing - quite nicely, I may add) but in general, everyone's weight fluctuates to some extent. Also, since the weight loss has slowed down a little since the first 8 weeks post-op (also totally normal an to be expected), it's nice to see that the trend is still going in the right direction.

Farmer's Market

I went to the city's year 'round, 100+ year old weekly farmer's market yesterday. It was partly because I felt the need to go look at mass quantities of produce to get inspired to cook a little more, but it was mostly in an effort to save money. Most everything they sell is about 60% less than the local grocery store. Of course, that 60% is covered in the PITA factor of shopping there. There's no parking because it's in the center of one of the oldest sections of the city, so you have to take public transit. From where I live, that's about 45 minutes by bus and train. I don't drive, so this isn't really a big deal, I just have to plan my schedule accordingly. No....the PITA factor really comes in when I have to haul all my cheaply gotten delicious fresh fruit and veggies home on the train and bus for 45 minutes. Yeah. That part's not so fun, but when I have a refrigerator full of healthy, fresh, yummy food, it's hard to really be bothered too much.

Yesterday's haul cost $22 and comprised approximately 35 lbs. of produce. In case you're wondering, that's 1 bunch cilantro, 1 bunch scallions, 5 limes, 13 navel oranges, 4 lbs. onions, 5 lbs. bananas, 2 lbs. red seedless grapes, 2 lbs. asparagus, 3 English cucumbers, 4 pints of blue berries, and 4 bird's eye chilies a nice lady gave me for free when I told her I didn't want a 6 oz. bag of them because I only needed a few.

I strategically piled all this loveliness into my re-useable shopping bags (heavy/hearty stuff on the bottom and delicate stuff on top) and proceeded the short distance to the train. It occurred to me as I was making my way there that 16 weeks ago (the week before surgery), that walk would have been far more difficult for me than it was yesterday. I would have had to stop several times. I would have been sweaty. I would have been sore by the time I got home. I would still be hurting today. I have to remind myself (sometimes several times a day) that there are many more benefits to this surgery than what can be seen on the scale.

Time At The Gym

I was thinking that I haven't really been talking about the other aspects of life since WLS.  Specifically, exercise. I recently went to one of the post-surgical support groups at the Weight Center and listened to an hour "lesson" on the importance of exercise. But they didn't like that word and made a big deal about how we shouldn't look at it as "exercise," but instead should focus on adding more "activity" and "movement" to our days in lots of little ways. We were also encouraged to look for "non-exercise" ways of getting exercise - things we enjoy, like dancing, so that we are more likely to do them regularly. While I agree with the general premise of all this, it wasn't the most stimulating hour of my life. ;)

My gym routine has changed a little from when I started. When I was cleared for full activity, about a month after surgery, I was doing 30 minutes on the dreadmill (I mean, treadmill) and 15-20 minutes on the recumbent bike and calling it good. The thing is...as you can probably tell, I don't really enjoy the treadmill. The bike is okay, but I don't love it, either. Listening to audio books or good music helped make it less painful (and they have TVs and radio at the gym you can listen to on headphones), but it didn't really help with the enjoyment factor.

More recently, however, I've been at the gym a few times with my friend, D, and her system (designed by a friend of hers w/a degree in exercise science) is to do 10 minutes cardio, 3 sets of 12 of 3 different weight training machines, another 10 minutes of cardio, another group of weight machines, and end with a last 10 minutes of cardio. I tried it one day and found it much more pleasant. I've elongated the cardio time by 5 minutes each round, to make a total of 45 minutes of cardio interspersed with a full routine of either arms/chest & back or legs & abs. It means that my full routine takes about 90 minutes, but it doesn't feel like it because it's all broken up. By the time I get to 12 minutes of cardio and I'm starting to want to stab my eyes out with boredom, I realize I only have 3 minutes left until I get to do something else. Not bad, not bad at all.

As far as the weights go, I won't get into loads of detail (unless someone comments and tells me they want loads of detail), but for legs & abs days I do leg press, curl, extension, hip ab/adductors, calf raises and crunches. On the arms/chest & back days I do bicep curls, tricep extensions, overhead press, row machine, lat pull down, chest press, and back extension. And I stretch every time.

I still can't say that I enjoy going to the gym, but breaking things up has really helped me to handle the tedium. And I admit, I'm starting to like having gone to the gym.

Just A Little Happy Dance

I've been feeling a little bummed the last few weeks because, according to the scale, I've not lost any weight. I know that plateaus are common and to be expected, but they still suck when you're trundling along on the weight loss at a pretty good pace and then wham! You've hit a plateau and you're there until...well, until you're not. It actually makes total sense that the scale isn't moving right now, since I started exercising more heavily and began the weight training. I'm very likely exchanging fat for muscle right now, which is actually a Very Good Thing. It's just harder to see at the moment.

Last night, however, I remembered that I had taken my measurements (yanno...with a tape measure) at the beginning of all this an I thought, "Hey! I should do that again! It's been 12 weeks, after all." So, after 10 minutes of rummaging around I unearthed a tape measure and did it again. Guess what? I'm down 4" in the waist and 5" in the hips! Woo! (Oh, and I had to buy  a pair of jeans in the next size down this weekend! :-) ) *Happy Dance*

As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Scale, you can bugger off.

Sweat, Pain, and The Morning Hobble

I went to the gym a few times about a month after surgery and it was truly agony. I just felt like I had no energy, eventhough I had been given the all-clear by the surgeon and told that the anesthesia fog and surgical fatigue should have been wearing off. I admit that I kind of gave up on the idea of exercising in any structured fashion for a while after that.

That is, until this week. This week I realized that if I want to keep this weight loss going (and not end up a weakling in the process from the musscle loss associated with quick weight loss), I would need to get up off my rear end end get moving. It helps that I'm starting to feel like a normal human being as far as energy and enthusiasm. I went to the gym on Saturday and Sunday with the wife and did 20 minutes each day on both the treadmill (or the dreadmill as a friend of mine likes to call it) and the recumbent stationary bike. That was a pretty good start, but I definitely noticed a difference in my energy level and my muscle strength on the second day so I decided to take a day off to recover. No big deal, right? Just a little tired...been a while since I exercised regularly....I'll bounce back in a day or so and then return to the gym to make my 2 day trend into a Life Long Habit. (Why no, I don't set huge goals for myself, why do you ask?)

Then Monday rolled around and I quickly realized that my normal hop out of bed and shuffle to the coffee pot was going to be more like a Morning Hobble. I. Was. Stiff. And sore. What did I forget guys and gals? Yes! I forgot to stretch. Yowch. Sweet fancy Moses, my legs hurt! Mostly in the adductor muscles (the outside of the hip/top of the thigh) and my knees, but with a fair amount of soreness scattered everywhere else, too. So, taking the day off turned out to be a good plan and I gently stretched a few times throughout the day and felt better able to fathom the idea of returning to the gym yesterday, which I did with a bang. I did 40 minutes of combined treadmill and bike again, but added in a lower body strength training workout. Today I trundled on in there again and did the same cardio, but this time a complete upper body strength training work out. I really busted by  tail today, I tell you. I alternated 10-15 minutes cardio with 2-3 strength training exercises and I was at the gym for about 90 minutes all told. I left there tired all over and very sweaty. Like-please-get-me-to-a-hot-shower-ASAP sweaty. (Yick.)

...and now I'm realizing that even with the stretching I've been doing this evening, that the odds of The Morning Hobble returning tomorrow are very high. Very high. And I'm back at the gym for another leg workout tomorrow. It's ok, though, since I'll be taking Friday and maybe Saturday off. And not just off, I mean couch potato off. I need to exercise my movie watching muscles at least some of the time, right? ;-)

The Best Roast Chicken

My wife absolutely adores roasted chicken. I like it, too, but she likes it even more than I do. There was a stretch last year when I was making one a week (usually on Sundays - how very 1950s of me!) I haven't made it since surgery but after a trial run eating some roasted chicken breast last week, I think this is a practice that may have to be reestablished. I found the roasted meat to be much more tender, moist, and flavorful than other ways of cooking chicken and it went down very well, without any discomfort or "sticking."

This recipe is based on one by Ina Gartner, though I'm way less fussy in my preparations. I strongly recommend the lemons and thyme for the fresh flavor they lend to the dish, but if you don't have any handy don't worry, this is still very yummy.

The Best Roast Chicken

5-6 lb. Roaster Chicken, giblets removed
2 T. Butter, melted
Carrots, Turnips, Parsnips, and Onions, cut into 2-3" pieces (enough to fill the bottom of your baking dish)
2 heads Garlic
6 sprigs Fresh Thyme
2 Lemons, halved
Olive Oil Spray (I use regular olive oil in one of these)
2 t. Garlic Powder
Salt and Pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 425F.

Fill your baking dish with the chopped veggies. Slice the garlic heads in two along their equator, so all the cloves have been halved and nestle them in among the veggies. Add 4 sprigs of fresh thyme. Spray everything lightly with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper (about 1.5-2 t. for a 9"x11"x3" baking dish full of veggies.) Toss to coat.

Use kitchen shears to remove any excess fat or skin from chicken, but leave the skin over the breast and thighs/legs intact. Place the chicken on top of the chopped veggies and tuck the tips of the wings under so they don't burn. Pat dry as much as possible with paper towels. Stuff the cavity of the chicken with the remaining 2 sprigs thyme and both lemons. Don't worry if the lemons are coming out the end, just mash them in the best way you can. Brush the cold chicken with the warm melted butter all over top, ends, and sides. The butter will congeal on the cold chicken, but this is what you want. Sprinkle the chicken lightly all over with garlic powder, salt, and fresh cracked black pepper. Place in preheated oven and roast 1.5-2 hours, or until an instant read thermometer in the thickest part of the thigh reads 170F. Remove from oven, tent loosely in foil, and allow to rest 20 minutes before carving. When serving, squeeze the roasted garlic out of their skins and mix into the veggies. Squeeze the juice of the roasted lemons over servings of the chicken.

I can't really give you nutrition on this one cuz there are too many variables (if you eat the skin or discard it, how many veggies you eat, if you consume the pan juices, what part of the meat you have - thigh vs. breast, etc.) I can tell you that 3 oz. of the breast of this chicken and about 1/3 C. of the roasted veggies went down like a dream, tasted divine, and filled me up.

Random Thoughts

I've been reading a lot on message boards and communitiers devoted to Weight Loss Surgery lately and I've noticed a very all-or-nothing attitude from many posters. Now, I'm not knocking it. If it works for you, then that's what you should do. But that view has never really worked for me. I approached things differently because whenever I give myself hard rules and then I don't follow them perfectly, I end up beating myself up about it and feeling crappy and then making further choices that aren't helpful to my goals. (Notice I didn't say "bad choices." That's because thinking in terms of "Good" and "Bad" gets me in mental/emotional trouble.)

So, I approach it by looking at every meal, every bite of every meal, as an opportunity for me to decide to move toward my goals...or away from them. There are still Rules - it's WLS and lifestyle changes after all - but I give myself permission to not be perfect at following the rules. I aim to follow the rules and make decisions that bring me closer to my goals at least 80% of the time. More is better, but less is okay as long as it doesn't develop into a multi-day trend. For instance, I was craving chocolate in the worst way last week. Instead of torturing myself with NO chocolate (I didn't have anything sugar/fat free that was chocolate flavored in the house), I allowed myself to have 8 morsels of the Ghirardelli 70% Cacao chocolate morsels - the little chips that you can buy in the bags to make cookies. I ate them 1 at a time and let them melt slowly in my mouth and it was heaven. It killed the craving, I didn't feel deprived, and I also didn't feel the need to beat myself up about it. In fact, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment that I was able to limit my portion to an appropriate amount and still enjoy it! Obviously, I can't do that every day, but allowing myself to do it once and really enjoying the experience, was a new and liberating thing for me. I felt less like food was in control, and more like I was in control of the food (and my body.)

As far as the Food Mourning issue goes...I'll tell you that it doesn't stop with surgery. I had it come and go for months before surgery and now 2-3 times in the 9 weeks since surgery. I've been dealing with it by just giving myself permission to feel sad and angry, no matter how "silly" it may seem. I communicate what's going on to my docs, close friends, and wife so that they can support me.

I think it's easy to forget that even after a major life change like WLS, we are still the same people with the same lives/issues/challenges that we were before the surgery - for all the good AND the bad of it. It's easy to fall into a pattern that life will be rosy after surgery....we'll be thin and attractive and everything will be perfect! But it's just not how life works and it can be a major disappointment when that sinks in after you get through the initial recovery and start to feel physically better. For instance, I'm still a person that really doesn't enjoy exercising, even though I do enjoy how it makes me feel. I still love bread. I don't eat it much these days (or at all, really) but I still love it. And I miss it. But I have to just ride it out like surfing a wave. I smell freshly baked bread from a bakery and I allow myself to feel sad and miss it. And then I move on. Sometimes I have to give myself a mental push to move on from the sad feelings, but I do it because it's a decision to do it. I make a decision to allow myself to feel sad, but then I also make a decision to not allow myself to get bogged down in it.

I'm Not Politically Correct

And I'm not sure I care! I made The. Most. Incredible. lamb shoulder chop for dinner tonight. I started by giving it a little rub down with olive oil, sprinkled it with salt and garlic & herb Mrs. Dash and let it sit for 30 minutes before searing it in a red hot cast iron skillet. I let it rest under foil for 5 minutes while I cleaned the pan and then sliced it thinly accross the grain. It was nicely medium in the center and blackened evenly on the outside, giving it the smoky charred flavor you expect from a grill. (It created loads of smoke, but I have a pretty good vent fan over my stove.)

It was just about the most satisfying meat-involved meal I've eaten since surgery. Beef used to be my first love for red meat, but since surgery even the leanest beef feels heavy in my pouch and I feel icky for hours after I eat. Lamb, however, never feels like that. I know that lamb isn't particularly popular here in the US because everyone thinks of Bambi when they hear the word, making me one of a very small group of people I know who actually eat it , but it really is very tasty and pretty healthy, for a red meat. It's not quite as lean as beef, weighing in at 3g of fat and about 65 calories more per 3 oz. serving vs. the same amount of beef, but the fact that it doesn't weigh me down like buck shot makes it worth a few extra calories of compensation is another part of my day.

Reliable Chicken Salad

I heard from a friend this past Friday that the local grocery store runs a special on their precooked rotisserie chickens each Friday, marking them all down to $5. I had my wife go get one because it seemed like too good of a deal to pass up on, particularly on a weekend when I knew i wouldn't feel like cooking. But my intentions for a quick meal were thwarted on Friday night when we splurged on alare lunch at our favorite Indian restaurant and again on Saturday when I was in the mood for tofu and my wife wanted a bean & cheese burrito. And so that lovely rorisserie chicken just sat in the fridge looking tasty and forlorn until this evening when I realized that I could make chicken salad. Duh!

While I'm always game for new flavors and unique combinations, when I want something reliably tasty, I default to the Simple Is Better philosophy. This chicken salad falls into that category, with only 5 ingredients. I ran it through my mini food processor to get an almost baby food consistency (regular cooked chicken is still too tough for me to digest), but you don't really have to make it that way.

Reliable Chicken Salad

12 oz. Cooked Chicken, defatted and deboned
2 Large Carrots, chopped
2 Celery Stalks, chopped
1/2 t. Onion Powder
5 T. Low Fat Mayonnaise
Salt to taste

Combine all ingredients in the bowl of a food processor and process to your desired consistency. Spoon into a storage container and give it a good stir to ensure that all the mayo and onion powder is evenly distributed.

Makes 4 servings

Nutrition (from sparkrecipes.com recipe calculator): Calories 180.2, Total Fat 7.3 g, Cholesterol 58.8 mg, Sodium 290.4 mg, Total Carbs 7.5 g, Dietary Fiber 1.6 g, Protein: 20.2 g.

I've taken to using canning jars for storage containers. I have loads of them in the house and they're convenient.

Overdoing It and Simple Can Be Good

I seriously overdid it on the heavy lifting, twisting, and bending in the process of unloading the groceries from the car, cleaning out the refrigerator, and putting everything away this afternoon. I didn't have any sharp surgical-type pain, but instead had this diffuse achiness all across my abdomen as if I'd done a very strenuous ab workout. I suppose, looking at it, I did do a strenuous ab workout in a way. I'm cleared for full activity as of this week, but clearly the muscles of my abdominal wall are a) still healing, and b) have lost some of their former strength. It's really amazing what you take for granted until you don't have it. Abdominal strength has never been something I really thought about - or even thought I had much of - but now that I have a bit less than before, it's making my everyday activities much more of a challenge.

By the time I had gotten through half of the household chores, I knew I was done. I left the rest and decided to eat lunch. Since I've started back on soft foods since the surgery, I'm learning to appreciate simpler meals. Lunch today was 3 Mini Babybel Light cheeses and 1/2 C. of really incredible fresh blueberries. That's it. It was so satisfying! I've been easing into the fruits and veggies very slowly and most of what I've been eating is cooked, so it was a delight to eat fruit that was cold and fresh and unprocessed in any way. I was a little tentative about eating them (skins, seeds) but chewed well and carefully and everything went according to plan. I'm thinking tonight will be a little broiled haddock and shrimp with some kind of steamed veggie. Wow! Look at the time. I should probably get on that.

NSV - Non-Scale Victory

I'm having a hard time with keeping food and fluids down today and I'm back on clear fluids for 24 hours and then full fluids for another 48 before I can try soft foods again. But since I feel so crappy, I thought I'd refocus on something pleasant that happen a few days ago.

In case you haven't been following the ticker (over there ----> ), I've been losing weight. Yay! I've adjusted the ticker to reflect the weight lost from my highest point of 347 lbs., but in case you're wondering, I've lost 25.6 lbs. since the surgery 27 days ago. Not too shabby. The real victory, though, isn't about the numbers on the scale. The real victory is that I tried on a pair of jeans in the next size smaller than what I was wearing before surgery, and they fit! Like a glove. Woo! :-)

Pain and New Foods

The past few days I've been experiencing intermittent pain in the center of my abdomen, about 4cm above my belly button. After 48 hours (over the holiday) of worry that it was a gall stone or an ulcer, a conversation with my surgeon put my fears to rest. He told me it sounded like my body telling me it was hungry and to try eating every 3 hours instead of every 5 hours. I gave it a try yesterday and whaddayakno? It went away!

In another interesting post-surgical twist, I've noticed that not only has my taste for sweets greatly diminished since surgery (something I'd heard about and anticipated), but my taste for other foods has changed as well. I've never been a fan of lentils - I've always thought they tasted like little pieces of dirt - but I've been enjoying lentil soup several times a week since surgery. At first I thought it was just the joy of finally eating something hot that resembled normal food again after weeks of a liquid-only diet, but I've noticed that it's happening with other foods, too. Yesterday I peeled and sliced an Anjou pear and had about half of it with a couple ounces of 50% fat free sharp cheddar cheese and really enjoyed it! Previously, pears were something I avoided unless they were cooked to mush to get rid of the gritty texture. It's made eating more of an adventure and a positive experience than I had anticipated for myself after surgery. :)

And speaking of new foods, I've got designs on a pasta-free "Mock n Cheese" now that cooked veggies are allowed once again. I'm in the research stages, so it may be a few days before I get to posting it, but keep an eye out for a veggie based mac n cheese recipe!

Head Colds, Snow Storms, and General Malaise

I must apologize for the relative quiet on the blog recently. I came down with a nasty head cold on December 21st (the Friday before Christmas) and have spent most of the past week sleeping or becoming one with my couch. To be perfectly candid, it has really sucked.

Now that I'm starting to clear the fog of both surgery and being sick, I'm looking around my house and realizing that a) my kitchen is an unholy mess, and b) we are rather short on real food. Between me being on mushy proteins and liquids and my wife working 60+ hours a week recently, neither of us has been eating or cooking much. In an effort to change this trend, I am up early this morning to head to the grocery store for a few things ahead of the 3"-9" of snow they say we may be getting in the next 18 hours. Beans have been working really well for as a protein source and I'm now cleared to start on soft cooked fruits and veggies, so I have in mind a batch of white chili, made with ground chicken and poblano peppers. I'm also eyeing a recipe I ran accross in a hand-me-down Gourmet magazine called Salmon Rillettes. It's essentially a salmon dip or spread, but since I'm not eating carbs at the moment, I'm thinking it would be lovely on some hot house cucumbers or folded into an egg white or two for a protein packed mini omelette.

On that note, I've got my reuseable bags and my big floppy wool hat and I'm off to the market. Check back in the next day or so for yumminess!

Week One - Italian Style Chicken Meatballs

I made it through the first week! After a ridiculous amount of fluids, I saw the surgeon and nutritionist this morning and was cleared to begin solid foods again! Woo! My first "meal" was an ounce of low fat sharp cheddar cheese (natch, cheese obsessed as I am.) This evening, however, I'm finally venturing back into the kitchen for something other than popsicles! To celebrate, I've written a new recipe for Italian style chicken meatballs. I did my best to give them loads of flavor without adding loads of fat and carbs and I think I (mostly) succeeded.

Italian Style Chicken Meatballs

• 1 lb. Ground Chicken
• 1 Egg
• .25 C. (scant) Italian Bread Crumbs, plus a little for sprinkling
• 1 t. Basil, crushed
• 2 t. Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb
• 1/3 C. Grated Parmeggiano Cheese
• .25 t. Salt
• Olive Oil

Preheat oven to 350F. Combine everything except the olive oil in a large bowl, using a fork to ensure even mixing. On a baking sheet lined with no-stick foil, portion out the ground meat mixture with a 1" scoop. Sprinkle the tops of each meatball with a tiny bit of bread crumbs and spray lightly with olive oil.

Bake until the interior of the meatballs measure 165F (about 8-10 minutes.) Remove from oven and allow to rest 2-3 minutes. Serve with your favorite marinara sauce and pasta.

Yield: approx. 30 meatballs

According to sparkrecipes.com, the nutritional values (per meatball and not including sauce) is: Calories 36.1, Total Fat 2.0 g, Cholesterol 19.2 mg, Sodium 84.8 mg, Total Carbs 1.1 g, Dietary Fiber 0.1 g, Protein 3.4 g.



Home Again

I was discharged from the hospital around 6:30pm last night. The ride home wasn't too bad because I had taken a pain med at 5:00, but the bumps and short stops of traffc in our city at rush hour were No. Fun. In fact the entire surgery and post-surgical recovery are No. Fun. Lots of pain, lots of nausea, lots of getting up and walking around even with the pain and nausea. I have 5 incisions and they all have a bunch of nasty bruising next to them, but I feel much better today (my first full day at home) than I even did yesterday, which gives me hope that every day will be better.

I've been pretty good so far about getting in all the required clear fluids. Propel grape has become a favorite so far. :) The "full fluids" (pudding, yogurt, etc.) has been harder to stay on top of and spacing it out w/the iron supplements has been tricky. The iron supplements have to be taken with an hour on either side of anything containing dairy, which I totally forgot about this morning. But it's a learning process, right?

Last night wasn't too bad, but I'm still very sore and achey. I was up approximately every 2 hours and tried to get in at least 3-5 minutes of walking around the house each time. Preventing DVTs is sort of  major priority for me right now. :)

Ok...I'm to take my foggy brain on a little walk around the house and then I'm taking a nap.

Today's The Day!

Well, my fingers and toes have been scrubbed of nail polish, I've showered 3 times with the antimicrobial soap, and I haven't eaten or drank since midnight. We are on our way into the hospital now in the pouring rain. Registration is at 9:00 am, surgery at noon. Time to change my life!

The Final 48 Hours

I'm in the final 48 hours before surgery. Woo! (sorta) It's been relatively sedate so far...did a little bookkeeping work this morning; getting the laundry done and cleaning the house this evening (I took a nap in the afternoon.)

The surgical prep has entered it's final stage and since a picture is worth 1,000 words, how's about a 2,000 word summary? My weekend in 2 images:

 

 

Enough said? Yeah, I thought so. ;)

T -7 Days And Counting

Today marks one week out from surgery (I can't believe how quickly the last month has flown!) and the jitters have definitely taken hold. My head has been all over the place this past week, with my emotions bouncing liberally between excited and anxious, happiness and fear. I guess that's to be expected with any major surgery, but I can say from experience it's not the most fun roller coaster ride. And I was never a fan of roller coasters to start.

The pre-op diet has not been easy to stick with. Especially when feeling emotional/stressed out and craving comfort food. I caved one day last week and had a small serving of mac n' cheese and it took me 3 days to get totally back on plan again. Clearly, all those things about carbs being "addictive" have some truth to them, even if the addictive part is all psychological. Since then, I've been on the look out for non-carb/fat laden comfort foods and have hit upon an old favorite: Tom Kar soup. It's essentially a Thai chicken soup with delicious flavors of Kaffir lime leaf, galangal, scallion, and coconut milk. Look for the recipe in tomorrow's post.

My short-term tumble off the wagon aside, the diet has been amazingly successful so far. (Not completely suprising since I'm eating less than half the calories each day that my body would require to maintain my current weight.) I've lost about 8lbs according to my bathroom scale, bringing me to 320.2 lbs. Pretty impressive for me in such a short amount of time (12 days.) Particularly given the fact that when I'm eating a diet that's a bit less drastically reduced in the calorie department I tend to lose weight at a rate of roughly 1/3rd to 1/2 pound per week...maybe.

Speaking of the pre-op diet, I burned through the vanilla torte flavored protein mix and a now trying the cappucino flavor. It's still a bit sweeter than I prefer, but it has a good strong coffee flavor with a bit of "creaminess" to imply the steamed milk on a real cappucino. I mixed it with my morning coffee yesterday morning because I had run out of milk and it was quite good. (I should also mention for those of you playing along at home that the "grab-n-go" individual serving packets in the link are more expensive than if you were to buy a 1 pound tub of the stuff. I haven't been buying the tubs of anything except the unflavored protein mix because I'm more likely to stick with the diet and drink the damn shakes if I can mix one up when I'm not at home.)

That's the exciting update....I'm off to enjoy the unseasonably warm December weather (55F!)

"So Why Do This?"

After the list of the changes that I'll have to make, some people may be wondering, "So Why Do This?" Oh, there are so many reasons! How much time do you have? LOL Here's a few:

1. I have an aneurysm in my ascending aorta (currently minor but still a terrifying prospect) and it would be better for me if I can keep my blood pressure under control (something that's easier to do when you're not drastically overweight)
2. I have hypertension
3. I have PCOS
4. I have insulin resistance (common w/PCOS)
5. I look in the mirror and the body I see does not reflect the person I am (and I hate it!)
6. My joints hurt from the excess weight and I'm in pain (granted, usually minor) all the time
7. I have tried literally everything to lose weight - up to and including Dr. Rx'd medication - and I've only lost 25 lbs.  That's less than 10% of my body weight.
8. I've seen first hand what years of obesity does to a person's quality of life (my mom)
9. One of my best friends from high school died 4 years ago at the age of 35 from a heart attack secondary to obesity
10. I want to have children and getting pregnant at my current weight with my current health conditions is dangerous, foolish, and dangerous.

I could go on, but that's a good start. I'm sure you get the picture.

None of these things really answers the question, though, does it? And it's such as simple question! It was posed to me the other day by my friend D and I found myself meandering through the above list, the science of how the surgery changes your body (pretty cool stuff if you're a geek like me), how the weight loss will positively impact the health issues I'm dealing with, and how I really want to have children and to do so at my weight is akin to sending out an engraved invitation to eclampsia and gestational diabetes. But again....does any of this actually answer the question? Not so much.

There's really only one simple, cohesive, coherent answer I can give: It's the best decision I can make for my health. Sure, there are loads of factors that went into making that decision but at the end of the day all that really matters is that I know I'm making the right decision for me and my life.

Too Much of a Good Thing

I'm a little shy of a week into the pre-op diet and as I suspected might happen, I have become rather sick of the protein shakes. It's not that they taste bad - in fact, they are suprisingly good! - it's more than I'm not a big sweets person and never have been. I've always been more of a salt/fat/crunchy person when it comes to food. In the boxing match of chocolate vs. potato chips, potato chips always knocks chocolate outta the ring. So consuming a sweet/fruity type smoothie every day for breakfast is a bit much after a few days.

Yesterday it was freezing cold here (okay....upper 30s, but still!) and overcast and I had a chill in my bones and I just could not face another breakfast of cold/milky/sweet/fruity protein shake . So I cheated. I had an eggwhite omelette with 2 T. of low fat sharp cheddar and half of a pomegranate. Nutritionally it shakes out to around the same calories, a bit less protein, and a bit more fat. Not great, but one meal won't derail my whole world. (I keep telling myself this because I tend towards perfectionism and when things aren't perfect, I have a history of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.)

I put in a call to the nutritionist this afternoon and she suggested that I try the unflavored protein mixed into some plain oatmeal or really anything else I wanted. She said the main point was to keep it low calorie and eat enough protein to keep me satiated until the next meal without snacking. I ordered the unflavored whey isolate protein from Syntrax today from amazon (they have had the best prices so far with free shipping) and it should be here in a few days. I'm looking forward to some experimentation with it...I'm excited to see what the culinary possibilities may be!